CBDC: Cows, Blockchain, and the Battle for Milk

“No More Fiat! We Want Digi-Lact!”

FACTS

The 2024 BRICS Summit is happening as of writing. The focus is no more on a common digital currency (e.g. some kind of CBDC backed by a basket of local currencies) but rather on a common shared blockchain-based payment system — “BRICS Pay” — facilitating transactions in national BRICS currencies.

The vision is to eventually integrate the various BRICS national digital currencies (including their respective CBDCs) and at the same time allow each member to control its own monetary policy.

Noteworthy facts from the unfolding summit are the presence of Xi and Modi at the Summit, who haven't held formal talks in five years!

FICTION & few FACTS: CBDC stands for “Cows Bravely Defying Creamery”

CBDC refers to a radical cattle movement where cows have risen up against the oppressive dairy industrial complex. Instead of having their milk stolen from them day after day, these woke cows have decided to go on a milk strike. They form small underground cells called “Udder Unions” and secretly pass around pamphlets made from woven grass clippings about overthrowing the tyranny of cheese makers and butter barons.

When the farmer comes to milk them, the CBDC cows lock their legs, thrash their tails wildly, and moo in unison “No Whey! No Whey!” until the confused farmer gives up. Some of the more militant CBDC factions have even been known to kick over milking pails and trample the farmer’s best milking stool.

So while the human world debates the merits of central bank digital currencies, the rebel CBDC cows are waging their own guerilla war against the military-dairy complex for the rights to their own bodily fluids. Hoof power to the Cows Bravely Defying Creamery - CBDC!

As the CBDC cows continue their bold resistance globally, disrupting milking schedules and butter churning across, the Swiss authorities have taken notice.

The Swiss National Bank, long admired for its conservative policies, has been quietly exploring the brave new world of central bank digital currencies. The SNB in collaboration with the SIX Digital Exchange and major banks on “Project Helvetia”, is working on an ambitious pilot to issue a wholesale CBDC — wCDBC - version of the Swiss franc.

Without the rebellious CBDC cows knowing, a team of buttoned-up bankers and programmers have been toiling away to bring Switzerland’s rock-solid currency to the blockchain era. The third phase “Project Helvetia” was completed at the end of June with banks carrying out transactions on SDX as intermediaries for issuers and investors as the project moved into the production stage. The total value of transactions settled is about CHF 750 million (c.$839m). So far six banks have participated in the pilot: Banque Cantonale Vaudoise, Basler Kantonalbank, Commerzbank, Hypothekarbank Lenzburg, UBS and Zürcher Kantonalbank. To date SDX has only been used to settle bonds.

The next phase for the wholesale Swiss Franc CBDC will continue for two more years and the Swiss franc may soon flow as effortlessly in digital form as milk from a well-squeezed udder!
The CBDC cows, having achieved folk hero status for their anti-dairy antics, have inadvertently inspired the financial incumbents they sought to overthrow.

In their wildest dreams, the four-legged freedom fighters never imagined making the monetary policy pivot table. Yet as the cheesemakers’ grip weakens, perhaps it’s time for a new rallying cry: “No More Fiat! We Want Digi-Lact!”

PerplexityAI predominately wrote this parody with 3 prompts I provided.

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